Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
