you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
