WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
