oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
