Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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