she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
