we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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