shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
