i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
