pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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