So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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