You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
