Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
