did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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