he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
