Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Randomize
