Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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