I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
