She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She bit a glass in half.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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