So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
