I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
