I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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