i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
