I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She even gives head with a lisp.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
