? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
