My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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