I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
