Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
