her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
