I want to have your abortion
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize