I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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