I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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