He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
