That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
