I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
