i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
