You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My life is pants optional.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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