apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The air taste purple.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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