How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
