here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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