you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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