Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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