I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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