Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
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