I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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