I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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