he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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