you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize