when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
