remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
