I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
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