I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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