would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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