whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
