he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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