shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize