She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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