yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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