i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
