(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
