In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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