i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
A+ Viking dick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
