well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he fucked my hip out of place.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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