He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
