i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
