I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
