I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
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