please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
