I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
