Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize