I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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