We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
