No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
