I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
