google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
