He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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