so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
