I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
