hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
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