I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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